Happy Birthday!
No refunds · no exchanges · no getting younger
David, our birthday legend — bearded, bespectacled, and unbothered
DAVID

"The Man Who Turned Forty"

Has, on this day, faithfully completed
40 YEARS
of thoroughly legendary service to the realm.
Born July 5, 1986 — now a certified Level 40 Legend

Basketball hero · anime devotee · dragon enthusiast · beloved by two very good dogs.

The tale continues below ✦
✦

The Chronicles of David

Forty years of documented heroics, loyal hounds, and truly excellent facial expressions.

David laughing on the couch beneath a gold 'you're 40' banner, cat nearby
David crowned as King of New York on a golden throne, surrounded by the Knicks as his armored court
David in a suit grinning while holding two six-packs of craft beer
David in a tux being kissed on both cheeks by two friends
David's two dogs sitting on a couch
David making a surprised face with a friend at a party
A collage of David's family and graduation moments
A fluffy sheltie puppy investigating food containers
David in a graduation cap and gown, smiling
Studio glamour portrait of David and his two dogs in matching argyle sweater vests

✦

The Day the Legend Was Born

Saturday, July 5, 1986. The world braced itself. Here is what else was going on.

#1 on the radio

"There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)"

Billy Ocean sat at the very top of the Billboard Hot 100 the week David arrived. He has been making people emotional ever since.

Meanwhile in New York Harbor

The Statue of Liberty reopened with a brand-new golden torch

Peak of the star-spangled Liberty Weekend centennial — fireworks, a fresh gold-leaf flame, basically a nationwide welcome party for a newborn David.

On the grass at Wimbledon

Martina Navratilova won the Wimbledon crown

Champions were being made all weekend. David just chose to make his debut on a slightly smaller stage.

Cold War sportsmanship

The Goodwill Games opened in Moscow

The whole planet decided to get along for a couple of weeks. Coincidence? We choose to believe it was a birthday gift.

✦

A World Before David Ran It

Brace yourself. Here is what everything cost in 1986. Try not to weep into your $7 latte.

— General Store · Est. 1986 —
Ye Olde Prices
Gallon of gas fill 'er up, laughing93¢
A movie ticket Top Gun, obviously$3.71
Gallon of milk$2.20
A postage stamp22¢
A brand-new car average sticker$9,255
The median house yes, the whole house$80,000
A Nintendo (NES) the good stuff$99
Song of the year "That's What Friends Are For"priceless
Grand total on the day David was born: one priceless legend.
Everything else has only gotten more expensive. He just got better.
✦

Known Allegiances

Every legend swears a few oaths. These are his.

Basketball

Nothing but net. A jump shot with more mileage than the three-point line itself.

One Piece

1,000+ episodes deep with no end in sight. Devotion of genuinely heroic proportions.

Dragons & Thrones

Fantasy and sci-fi shelves stacked to the ceiling. Winter came; he brought snacks.

House of David

The original had a star and a slingshot. Ours has a star, a jump shot, and excellent taste. Mazel tov.

✦

Join the Festivities

Take a lap in his honor, then leave a word for the birthday legend.

🎮 Play the Gorman Game!

The Birthday Scroll

Sign below and wish David a happy 40th.

Loading well-wishes…